Look at that amazing picture of me on the cover of this month's Women's Health magazine!Sigh... only kidding, that's actually the uber-beautiful Brooklyn Decker, of course. I am, however, featured inside the magazine in an article titled When You Clash Over Cash, about the risk that money issues can pose to committed relationships.
Money issues abound in couples. Even the most financially healthy person in the world is bound to have strong preferences around money management, priority, or expectation that don't correlate 100% with their partner's.
And once begun, even small disagreements over money have a tendency to get very heated, very fast. Since money is closely tied to our sense of security, the self-preservation insinct can overwhelm any promise to love, honor, and cherish.
Next time you are your partner experience a financial spat, try to remember that money is a subjective entity, vulnerable to influences of the past and to emotional associations. Stop trying to be right and instead reach for connection. It's okay to ask your partner to cooperate simply because you need it. Though your partner may not comply, I would argue that this is still a more effective tactic than asserting that their collection of action figures/shoes/Civil War memorabilia is "obsessive and juvenile."
Money makes us want to protect ourselves, not fight fair. It's tough to ignore that rush of adrenalin and stay constructive. But couples who can learn to do it discover that it pays dividends of every kind.
